I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes...

It's been a long while since I've updated this.  School is kind of tough this semester (as I type this I am already late for class) so I've been focusing a lot of my time on school and family issues (nothing that serious).

Anyway, the last post I made was about the girl from Okcupid that I went on a date with.  We met up again (surprisingly) for coffee a week later.  We talked for a while and I gave her a hug goodbye.  She told me we should meet up again and that she was "very flexible" in terms of meeting up etc.

Well, I asked her out for a third date which she agreed to.  She then cancelled the day of the date, then agreed to reschedule.  When I called her to reschedule she never answered her phone nor called back.  A few days later she blocked me from facebook and then deleted her Okcupid account.  I assume that means she's not interested.

So, here I am again, back at square one.  Only one girl has responded back to me on Okcupid since then, a girl who has also since deleted her account.  And now of course, spring is here and all the girls are looking nice and wearing dresses, skirts etc.  And of course I am still single and completely dateless.  In less than a month I will be completely done with school, how then will I meet women and get dates?  The last few days I have been feeling really pathetic and lonely.  Between this and my job search I feel like things are just hopeless.

Same thing again

Well, I went on that date.  We talked but not really about each other, and I did most of the talking (not on purpose though).  Things ended pretty much the way they ended the last time I went on a date: vague promises of getting together again but no sizzle or chemistry.  I think she was cute and fairly interesting, problem is I don't think she was interested in me.  Which is fine, no one is required to be interested in me, but I mean come on, someone has got to be interested in a guy like me.  I'm fairly attractive, smart, educated, I've got friends and I'm genuinely a nice person (i.e. I don't kill kittens or deal drugs).  What I'm looking for is someone who can say the same about themselves.  I'm really not that picky, most of them women I've been on dates with people have told me were well within my league.  So, tell me folks, what gives?

Completely Disgusted

So, in an effort to get myself out of this situation I joined an online dating site several months ago, one of the free ones.  After writing several messages and hearing back only occasionally, I finally managed to find one girl on there willing to meet up.  We arranged to meet but had to reschedule due to legitimate scheduling concerns (on both our parts) and I'll spare you all the details mostly in an effort to stay anonymous.  We have managed to tentatively agree to a new date, and hopefully everything works out.

One thing that worries me however.  In the days leading up to the original day of the date I found myself hyping this up way more than it needed to be.  She's cute and sounds interesting, but I can't really tell if we have chemistry or if we'd be a really good fit or any of that.  Yet here I was thinking "hey, maybe this is my lucky break".

I'm disgusted.  I'm disgusted that this would only be my second date in over 18 months.  I'm disgusted to know that if it doesn't work out with this girl I'm going to be back to square one, and will probably take another 6 months to a year to go out on another date.  I'm disgusted that I'm hardly ever assertive around women, I'm disgusted that I get so dejected so quickly, assuming that girls are disinterested when in fact they might very well be interested.

I know I don't have much of a following on here, but if anyone reading this can relate or has any advice feel free to comment.  I'd really appreciate it.