Friday, September 20, 2013

Race and Dating Post #985 (or something)

Anyone who has read this blog understands that I don't have this problem, but really, is there something inherently evil about wanting to date your own race?  

I ask this because it's a recurring theme I read on the popular blog Nice Guys of Okcupid.  It's supposedly a sign of douchbaggery if you say on your profile that you'd strongly prefer to date someone of your own race or ethnicity.  

Now, I get it.  It's great to be open minded and open to dating anyone.  It really is.  And obviously me being strongly into non-white women I can't imagine strongly preferring to date someone from my own ethnic background.  But, lots of people have all kinds of standards.  Hair color, height, income level, education, political views, musical tastes, drinking vs non-drinking lifestyle, religion, why is it any less legitimate to prefer someone of your own racial background?  

I know the obvious answer is that such an attitude is merely a dog whistle for racism.  I'm not convinced though.  Sure, some people might just be racist, but a lot of people are just not attracted to people from different races.  And obviously some people aren't attracted to their own race.  It's the differences that make this world great.  

From what it looks like Nice Guys of Okcupid has a bit of an ideological bent.  So perhaps this is just a result of someone grinding an ax.  But I want to know: is there anything wrong with preferring to date your own race?  Or even preferring to date other races?  

I'm just not seeing the boogie man here.  But maybe I'm not seeing something...

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

For Those Starting or Going Back to School

Well, I've decided on the book I'm going to write.  It's going to be an advice book for young people, in particular those going off to college (so either 18 year old high school graduates or slightly older people getting ready to transfer from community college to a four year university).  I hope to have it finished and available for sale by March or April 2014.  So we'll see what happens.

For now, I"ll give you guys just a taste of what that book will contain with this post, which as far as I'm aware is the first time on this blog where I will dispense advice rather than solicit it.  In honor of this being the first day of school for many students, I'm going to give some advice for high school and college kids.

High School:

If you're a Freshman, just make it through.  Get good grades, have fun enjoy yourself.  This is about as awkward a time you will have in high school.  Don't sweat it, most people won't remember half the stuff they did Freshman year and the other half will find it amusing.

Sophomores and Juniors: continue to get good grades.  Don't take too many AP classes or join too many clubs or play every sport just because you think it will look good on your college resume.  Just join the ones you care about.  Pay attention in English class, even if you hate the books you have to read, knowing what they're about is a pretty good thing to know and the ability to write is a crucial skill.

Seniors: this is the best time you'll have in high school.  For me, I had early release everyday (getting out at 2 instead of 3:30 was great) and finally had a good circle of friends and teachers who knew and liked me (and not in the "suckup" kind of way either).

For all of you, I suggest not getting too caught up in any guys or girls.  If you find one you like, cool.  If not, it's no big deal.  You'll meet a lot more people as you grow up.


I know it's a little late for some of you guys reading this, since most US schools started about 2-3 weeks ago.  Assuming anyone is reading this.  Interestingly enough, most of the advice I gave to high schoolers applies to you too.

Don't be so uptight, don't take yourself too seriously, and don't worry about sex.  Also, most people you meet aren't half as confident as they appear to be.  So don't be intimidated by them.  Join some fun sounding clubs (like tennis club for example) and just relax.  It's an easier time than high school for sure.