Monday, March 24, 2014

Hooking Up and the Consequences of Doing So

I like to read other people's blogs or Tumblrs from time to time.  Just to see how an "average" person lives.  Some posters are pretty open about their lives, detailing drug use, how often they get drunk and even their romantic and sexual lives.  All of these people are anonymous, so I've never met them and likely never will.  But the insights into their lives are quite fascinating.

It's no secret that young people (especially college aged people) hook up.  There have been numerous articles written and studies conducted on the subject.  There are good things and bad things about this, but I think the simple fact of the matter is that it happens.

For those that have hooked up, and have done so frequently, my guess is that at some point in the future (maybe in a short while, maybe a long time from now) you would like to settle down and get into a relationship.  Will your experience hooking up impact how you go about that?  Will it impact the kind of partner you choose to settle down with?

I'd imagine it would probably be easier to settle down with someone who had also done their share of experimenting sexually as well, but I could be wrong on that.

This is something I wonder about sometimes.  Would a woman who had spent a good deal of time in her 20s be interested in a guy like me who is basically a completely clean slate?  We'd be on totally opposite sides of the sexual spectrum in terms of experience and knowledge.  Would she be worried I wasn't really ready to settle down because I hadn't experienced the world very much?  Would she be worried that I'd be bad at sex?  Creeped out?  In essence: does our new openness about sexuality impact how we view those who aren't as experienced?

For my part, I've never been one to care about my partner's sexual history.  It's just not something I care to know.  Mentally I would prefer not to think about any girl I'm seeing being with another guy (sexually or romantically) but intellectually I understand that most people in my dating age range have probably had relationships and sex before, perhaps a lot.  So I understand I won't be getting some "pure" virgin, and I really don't care.  At the same time I don't want to be judged for my lack of sexual history, you know?

So I'd like to here from some sexually experienced people, and since I'm a heterosexual male, preferably some women.  How would you feel about dating a man who was sexually inexperienced?  Do you think your experience sexually would impact your view of him as a sexual and/or romantic partner?  Would your sexual histories be so incompatible as to not be able to be overcome by any amount of compatibility in other ways or his ability to learn?

Email, comment below, or tweet me your answers.  If you'd like to remain anonymous let me know.