So, in an effort to get myself out of this situation I joined an online dating site several months ago, one of the free ones. After writing several messages and hearing back only occasionally, I finally managed to find one girl on there willing to meet up. We arranged to meet but had to reschedule due to legitimate scheduling concerns (on both our parts) and I'll spare you all the details mostly in an effort to stay anonymous. We have managed to tentatively agree to a new date, and hopefully everything works out.
One thing that worries me however. In the days leading up to the original day of the date I found myself hyping this up way more than it needed to be. She's cute and sounds interesting, but I can't really tell if we have chemistry or if we'd be a really good fit or any of that. Yet here I was thinking "hey, maybe this is my lucky break".
I'm disgusted. I'm disgusted that this would only be my second date in over 18 months. I'm disgusted to know that if it doesn't work out with this girl I'm going to be back to square one, and will probably take another 6 months to a year to go out on another date. I'm disgusted that I'm hardly ever assertive around women, I'm disgusted that I get so dejected so quickly, assuming that girls are disinterested when in fact they might very well be interested.
I know I don't have much of a following on here, but if anyone reading this can relate or has any advice feel free to comment. I'd really appreciate it.