Sunday, February 6, 2011
Same thing again
Well, I went on that date. We talked but not really about each other, and I did most of the talking (not on purpose though). Things ended pretty much the way they ended the last time I went on a date: vague promises of getting together again but no sizzle or chemistry. I think she was cute and fairly interesting, problem is I don't think she was interested in me. Which is fine, no one is required to be interested in me, but I mean come on, someone has got to be interested in a guy like me. I'm fairly attractive, smart, educated, I've got friends and I'm genuinely a nice person (i.e. I don't kill kittens or deal drugs). What I'm looking for is someone who can say the same about themselves. I'm really not that picky, most of them women I've been on dates with people have told me were well within my league. So, tell me folks, what gives?
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Hey, I don't know if you're still writing this blog or if I'm an interweb creeper for commenting here, but maybe you're putting too much pressure on yourself.
ReplyDeleteWhen you set the relationship as a goal, whenever it doesn't work out, you're gonna feel like you've failed or lost. But you're only 50% of any relationship... why take 100% of the responsibility and negative feeling?
You sound like you're trying to attain a goal vs. just go out and have a good time and meet someone new.
Take anything I say with a grain of salt, obviously. I'm an anonymous person on the interwebs, and my experience with relationships consists of putting out/getting together with a dude, and getting ditched within the month a few times in high-school, then making out with a dude, dating for seven years and then getting married. I ain't been dating for a while, and I never did it "right" anyway.
Maybe you'll feel more confidence and less pressure if you were meeting these women doing something you enjoy, instead of class, bar scene, dating sites? A couple I know met on their dodgeball team. I met my former boyfriends and current-husband doing indie film crew stuff. I wouldn't recommend getting liquored up and trying to touch it, which was my signature move back in the day, haha...
Whatever you do please please please don't fall into that whole 'women just want guys like this, don't trust bitches' mindset. I see a lot of that on the interwebs. That's a bunch of bullshit. What are you doing trying to bone someone you don't trust? I assure you
the ratio of awesome to shitty women is exactly the same as for guys. :)
I just got this comment, but a much belated thanks for your advice. I think I'm way too shy around girls I'm interested in or attracted to. I was on a co-ed basketball team last summer and although there were women on there I just never really talked to them outside of idle chit-chat. I think I need to work on confidence maybe. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you're not an internet creeper for commenting. I appreciate people's opinions.