Wednesday, September 24, 2014

To Be 20 Again

I'm a bit of a nostalgic person.  Anniversaries of important events or moments in my life are things I tend to remember and reminisce about.  And sometimes obviously look on with regret.

Six years ago today I met "Becky".  It wasn't even like a grand "I met you" moment.  We talked for roughly 10 minutes, give or take.  It was one of those things where I was so amazed that an attractive woman even bothered to speak to me at all.  There was a guy on campus giving out flyers for something or other and when we passed him I was so entranced I said something so totally off the wall.

I any event, I wouldn't speak to her again for several weeks.  I was doing my patented "too cool for school" act.  You know the one where you ignore someone you're attracted to because you don't want to be "that person" who follows them around like a puppy dog.  Eventually though by essentially stroke of luck we'd start hanging out regularly and I was in deep.

I won't rehash the whole story here because I've already blogged about it a couple of times and don't want to bore you with yet another retelling.  What I will say is that it's a bittersweet memory (as all my memories of her are).  That September night, walking back from class.  Me, a 20 year old guy who thought he knew everything about the world but who in fact knew practically nothing.

For the past 6 years I've tried in vain to recreate that, just with a happier ending.  I'm not sure if that's possible.  Nor am I sure it's desirable.

I still dream about "Becky".  I'm sure it doesn't help that I still talk to her online on a regular basis.  I'm not sure what will happen in the future, I'm not optimistic but who knows.

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