Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Things that limit you

One of the things I've noticed over the past few months is that I've slowly withdrawn from my friends and extended social circle.  Not out of a desire to be a loner, I just don't want to deal with people right now.

For one, I don't like dealing with the "what are you up to?" question.  I've been doing nothing.  Literally.  I have another blog (which I won't link to, if you're a smart person you probably already read it) which I write for, I watch baseball on TV and I play a few video games, sometimes some porn, watch youtube videos and movies and that's about it.

I quit my job in May 2011 because I was quite unhappy with it.  Then I became a libertarian and decided I could never work for the federal government as I had previously wanted to (out of principle).  So, for the last year I've been stuck.  Totally stuck with no idea what to do with my life.  Having to tell people that you're an unemployed bum who wasted his college career having fun and half assing term papers, with no solid plans on where to go isn't a fun option.  And it's getting less fun by the day.

To my great consternation, I've realized this isn't likely to help me when it comes to dating.  I'm unemployed, live with my parents and I share a (very small) room with my brother.  I'm a complete loser.

I've spoken with and interacted online with people and discussed this very issue.  Almost all of them suggest focusing on getting a full time job/career going before worrying about dating.  The thing is though I'd like to be able to focus on both simultaneously.

Conceivably, it could be another 6 months to a year before I have a decent full time and my own place (even with roommates).  Should I/could I go that long without ever even kissing a girl?  I'm 24, how old will I have to get until things get really bad?

I don't know readers, what would you suggest?  Worry about a job, or getting some kind of dating life going?


  1. I would focus on getting a job for two reasons:

    1)People (especially when looking at potential dates) tend to make snap judgments based on what job, living conditions, etc. someone might have. Having a good job can make it easier to get past those first assessments.

    2)You mentioned that you feel like a "complete loser" since you don't have a job, etc. To me, this means you don't have confidence right now, which is harmful when trying to dates. If you can change things around, dating might become easier.

    ...Not to mention that it'd be kind of awkward to bring a date to "your place" and have your family be there.

    So yeah, that's my two cents.

  2. A lot of girls don't care if you have a room-mate, so I'd move out and get a place with a room-mate around your own age. Do your budget, you may be surprised how little it costs to live on your own (you laugh, but this happened to me at 25).

    As soon as you're out of your parent's house, you'll feel a lot less "limited". If that's a while away, you could bide your time reading books on flirting, picking up, etc..

    You're in your EARLY twenties! Shit man, you're young. I'm turning 30 soon, and I'm not much more experienced than you. However, I don't feel hopeless, perhaps because I don't live with my parents, I'm going to school for a degree(almost finished), and will be very likely to find work in the future. Food for thought.

    For the confidence, I'd recommend taking up boxing. I've heard it helps confidence a lot. That's what I'm planning on doing, time permitting.