Monday, August 27, 2012

On Real Dolls and "Misogyny"

This isn't really a recent issue, but one that has fascinated my morbid sense of curiosity: Real Dolls.

For those who don't know what they are, just google it.  I'm not going to link it here because I'm just too lazy to do so.  They're basically sex toys made into life size dolls.  Google it in conjunction with feminism and you will find quite a few critiques on them.

The general issue women and feminists have with Real Dolls is that they are fully customizable, realistic(ish) looking dolls (sometimes even semi-functioning robots).  It's depressing that men would be content or would even prefer the company of these "cum receptacles" over real life human beings who can interact with them beyond just sex.

All of those are very good points.  But if you watch the BBC documentary Guys and Dolls I don't think that's the reality.  Almost all of the men featured in that program (aside from Davecat) they are all older, socially awkward men who I believe are not "choosing" the dolls over the women.  They are simply taking the only option available to them.  One guy for example cited an instance in which he thought a woman was asking him on a date, but all she wanted was for him to babysit her kids (if ever there was a time to feel at absolute lowest, that's the time).

This is a point that women and feminist critics fail to comprehend.  But it's not necessarily a gender issue, I think most men can't comprehend it either.

When a person goes their entire lives or a very large portion of it without physical proximity to the sex they are attracted to (whether for sex or just holding hands, etc.) there does end up being a sense of longing.  It's not in this case about getting one's rocks off (which would be a much simpler and easier problem to solve) it's about companionship.  Being able to sit on a couch and watch a movie or a TV show, or sharing a bed with one's lover (even without sex).  Consumers of these dolls are looking for that in their lives, and for whatever reason (usually shyness or social awkwardness) they have been unable to do so.  So they fix it in the only way available to them.  Most, I believe, would much rather have a living breathing woman in their lives but have given up on the possibility of this ever happening.  I fail to see any misogyny.

One only has to look at the monkey experiment from many years ago to see how real this is.  I'm not sure about the particulars of the experiment, but basically scientists gave an orphaned monkey a choice between a "mother" who was made of metal but had lots of food and water available and a "mother" that had little or no food but was made of cloth/much easier to cuddle to.  The monkey chose the cloth mother, proving that attachment is more than about who satisfies your biological needs and urges.

I cringe when I hear about or see this documentary.  It's very sad.  But I wonder, if I was 45 or 50 and in my current situation (dateless, kissless, etc.) how tempting would these sex dolls be?  Young supple bodies, probably more realistic looking than they are now, no rejection, etc.  Would I be tempted?  Or would they still gross me out?

Food for thought for those who would cast stones.

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