I forgot how this felt. That sort of knot in your stomach, lump in your throat, feel like a 12 year old, nervous wreck. That feeling. It's been a while.
Most of my interactions with women in the romantic realm consisted of reading dating profiles on Okcupid and sending messages out, hoping I said the right words or was just witty enough to warrant a response. Aside from driving you insane, that kind of approach sucks a lot of fun out of the world. It really turns dating into a job hunt. Blech.
That said, I'd like to think I'm at the age where you stop having crushes and you start you know, actually acting on your feelings. That magical transformation that occurs sometime between middle school and middle age.
So I guess you could say I have a crush on someone. First time I've ever really been able to forget about the girl who broke my heart almost 5 years ago. You know, the one who always gave me the hot and cold treatment. But anyway, this girl is absolutely gorgeous, funny, great smile, and has the kind of sense of self I've always found attractive. In short, pretty damn near perfect. If she is single, I can only assume it's because she chooses to be. Any guy would count his lucky stars to be dating her.
I assume that she knows who she is. Especially if she's reading this right now. I'd like to assume that if I knew her better or was closer in proximity to her, I'd ask her on a date, but given my seemingly uncanny ability to dither and second guess myself and routinely seize defeat from the jaws of victory, I can't exactly say that for certain. Plus, I'm sure she has much better men to choose from. I suppose I'll have to settle for an admiration from afar.
Such is the life of The Inexperienced Guy.