Saturday, August 30, 2014

Other People's Standards

Let's talk about standards.  According to the dictionary, it's a "level of quality" or "achievement", "considered to be acceptable or desirable".  In dating terms it's really what you're looking for and won't settle for less than.  At least I think that's a good definition.

I always see on dating sites or forums, and even when people talk in real life what people claim they're looking for.  Sometimes it's really generic, even seemingly easy to pass. A nice person who doesn't cheat, isn't looking for a one night stand, is respectful, doesn't need to be rich, can talk about intellectual topics, etc.  It sounds nice.  I mean hey, I'm those things.  Yet, whenever I message a girl like that on a dating site or talk to a girl like that in real life, it always goes nowhere.  So I've come to regard anyone who says they're just looking for a good guy with "xyz" generally nice sounding attributes as just blowing smoke out of their ass.  Let's not bullshit a bullshitter.  I know and you know, and you know that I know that you're looking for much more than that and you're just saying you aren't so as to avoid looking like a bitch (or a dick if you're a dude doing this with regards to women).

But, we've all heard of the infamous situation in which a great person is dating a piece of shit.  Or at least maybe not quite a piece of shit, but maybe a mildly irritating fart.  And you know this person could and should do better, but they aren't.  They're agonizing over why the person they're dating is engaging in certain behavior.  Cheating maybe, or getting mad when they want to spend an evening hanging out with friends rather than stay at home, something along those lines.  I look around and think about the number of normal, respectful, level headed guys I know who struggle badly with women and I wonder: "what the hell are all of us doing wrong?".

I'd like to think that I meet most people's standards, but if I had to be perfectly honest I'd have to say I'm very skeptical.

So readers, what are your standards?  What are things you look for in a partner?  Things you would accept, things you absolutely wouldn't?  Do you think I'd meet yours or even most women's?

Personally, I don't know what my standards are or even should be.  I'd like to stay as open minded as possible but I can't honestly say I'm always successful in that endeavor.  In any case, feel free to leave your thoughts.

No comments:

Post a Comment