Wednesday, June 25, 2014


I got a lot of flak last time I tried to write a post with some perspective in it.  People who thought I was needlessly negative or in a hurry to grow up or something.  But it needed to be written, just to get it out there.  
I am at a point in my life where most of my friends are getting married, having children, or getting into relationships.  I can go down my Facebook friends list and tell you as much.  It isn't so much that everyone else is doing it so I should too, it's more like, I'm at that age where you begin to lose single friends to do stuff with.  And it's weird because a lot of these people are the people you'd least expect.  But here we are.

So today I'm off of work, and really have nothing to do except some minor errands I need to run.  I'm browsing the online dating sites, namely Okcupid and  But why bother?  Sure I paid for Match so I might as well use it, but except for the break I took from April to mid-June, I've been on the site since last September and I've got (in the words of Jim Mora) "diddly poo" to show for it.  Same with Okcupid, except I've been on there longer with only marginally better results.  My messages always go without a reply, and lately on Okcupid not even a profile view.  These are people with whom I have things in common!  Getting together for a date or a meetup should be easy, but I can't even get them to chat with me over internet messages.  

I don't meet women offline anymore.  Something that happens when you combine friends settling down with graduating college.  The stream of single people coming into your life dwindles.  Not that I was very good at talking to or attracting women when I was meeting them regularly.  As far as I'm aware, attraction has always been a one way street for me.  

It's why I haven't cut "Becky" out of my life, even though continuing to interact with her is most likely bad for my mental health.  She's the only woman who bothers to talk to me anymore.  

I read a post on a blog I read about the Friendzone.  And you know, I've pretty much never been in the Friendzone.  I never get to that point.  Women usually ditch me well before we ever get to that stage.  It's like it's that bad that I don't even have that problem.  99 problems but the friendzone isn't one.  

Now this is why I'm fairly pessimistic about my chances with women.  I've been in the world, there is no cavalry charging up the hill.  I'm not going to message some girl on a dating site and meet up with her and end up dating her.  "Becky" and I aren't going to live happily ever after.  It's just not going to happen.  If it was, it would have happened already.  

Look, if you feel differently, please let me know why.  Don't give me some bullshit though.  Don't comment on here saying "there's a girl out there for you, just be patient", or some variation thereof.  I've heard it before.  I've heard the line about women being just as self-conscious around men as men are.  And maybe that's true, but they're not self-conscious around me.  

Just once in my life I'd like someone to feel the same about me as I do about them.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life messaging girls on dating sites hoping that maybe, just maybe one of them will tolerate me long enough to date me.  I don't want to spend the rest of my life quietly resenting the happy couples I see out and about.  I want to actually be in one of those happy couples.  But if you're asking my honest opinion, I don't think it's going to happen.


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